This is where I'm at now...

http://www.omdraaisvlei.co.za/

There is nothing like living in clean air and peace and quiet that cleans out the soul :)

Moving along...

So the last blog post was something I didn't exactly plan. It was meant to be an update of all that has been happening since last year. But the absolute irony of what happened and the storm of emotions that followed was something I had to get out by writing.

Anyway, moving on...

Like I said before I don't know who still reads this blog but I have been largely absent for the past nine months. Because of that I probably have lost a lot of readers. It doesn't really bother me, I don't regret the time I had away and a lot of it was beyond my control.

In September last year our service provider got fed up with replacing the telephone lines that had gotten nicked over and over again. This is a problem in South Africa, people steel the telephone lines for the copper. The service provider eventually refused to install new lines. This meant no Internet for me other than what I had on my BlackBerry. Trying to post from my BlackBerry was a mission since the email post option didn't work very well. So I just thought "Screw it" and took a break. There have been a lot of changes in my life since then so for anyone that is still reading or interested here they are...

My baby boy Milo disappeared before Christmas last year. Milo had been spending more and more time away from my house as he seemed to be more interested in having adventures with his brothers. Eventually he only came home to eat and for a quick snuggle before setting off again. I knew I was not going to be living in the area much longer and would soon have to make a very difficult decision on what was best for Milo. But sadly I didn't have to. Milo would come home to eat but one day he just stopped coming. His brothers also disappeared we searched the area for all of them but they had vanished without a trace. We later heard that seven different cats from the farm had gone missing and someone had sighted a mountain cat- there are only two or three in the mountains where we lived. I hate to think about it so I rather would like to think that Milo and his brothers found a field with lots of mice and butterflies for them to chase. I was so heartbroken at loosing Milo...I don't think he ever forgave me for the time he broke his leg- he completely changed after that.

Since January I've moved three times. I have discovered that I do not take moving very well. It causes so much anxiety and instability in me that I become virtually useless and am prone to panic attacks. This is very surprising since I have lived in three different countries and the vast majority of my childhood was characterised by moving. The last move was significant in that after three years I have finally moved out of my parents house and onto my own. Earlier this year a friend of mine moved into a house where she needed to tutor a little girl for an hour a day in exchange for room and board and one meal every day. She soon grew tired of having children around her twenty- four- seven and offered the room to me and moved back home.

The house has got to be the oddest I have every seen. My room is very large with a bathroom that has a shower so small I need to open the door just to be able to wash properly. The house has a interesting history. It was bought by an American tycoon for his son who he later disinherited for marrying a stripper...who kept on stripping. My room was used to coach newly hired strippers on their technique. The two stripe poles where removed before my friend moved in but the floor still carries a reminder. The disinherited son later had to flee because he was wanted for questioning in a murder investigation ( he gave the gun that was used in the murder to the suspect as payment for "garden work" bet he regrets that) and agreed for the family that I am living with now to stay in the house rent free as both parents had just been retrenched from their jobs.

The family I live with are very nice, a little rough around the edges. The Dad who is a boat builder, cooks sometimes delicious and sometimes disastrous suppers that we all eat together in the kitchen and the wine is free flowing!. There are two children, a nine year old boy and a ten year old girl which is the one I tutor. Since I started with her about a month ago, I have started to strongly suspect that she is either dyslexic or ADD or both. It is a massive struggle for her to read and write and instead of spending just an hour a day with her I am spending four or five hours with her. It's tough and I feel for her, she knows somethings wrong and she genuinely wants to learn and do well. I am just waiting for the right time to broach the subject with her parents about getting her help. She is writing exams right now and it is just hectic.

Unfortunately three weeks after I moved in I found a notice from the sheriff taped onto our gate telling us that the house was being auctioned off by the bank because disinherited son had gone through all his inheritance and was now defaulting on his mortgage payments. Fortunately for us, it is very hard to evict someone in South Africa on account of the country having so many homeless people and squatters. So even if the house gets sold we have more rights than the actual buyer and the buyer by law, actually has to find us a new place to live. We also plan on evoking "Squatters Rights" ( yes they have rights)...I can picture my high- flying sister gasping in shock if she had to hear that. It sucks that I may have to move so soon after having just gotten settled.

As for work, after six months of being unemployed...I am STILL unemployed.I had a temp job covering maternity leave that come to an end in December. Employment is a real problem in South Africa. If you are a teacher, a lawyer or a doctor jobs are plentiful but most of these professionals head for foreign countries where there are more benefits, better salaries, less crime and the cost of living isn't so high. As for everyone else, South Africa for workers is a bit like Hollywood for wannabe actors and actresses. Most people here get jobs through word of mouth...it's who you know and all about being in the right place at the right time. It is vital to start building your connections starting even in high school, to get ahead. It is not unheard of to hear of someone with university degrees and even PhD's being unemployed for six months and struggling to find a job. As my connections are not exactly up to par looking for a job has been like banging my head against a brick wall.

My sister has sub-contracted me on her copy writing work and is giving me a small salary for my trouble. It is good for buying food and maybe a pair of jeans and a movie here and there, but if I had to pay rent I would be screwed. I am still studying and will be doing that full time through correspondence from July. It is ironic...I don't think I have ever worked so hard in my life as I have been doing so now...and I am the poorest I have ever been.

Anyway this has gotten a little long and I hope I haven't bored anyone to tears. I will have to break this update up into two parts as there have been two "happenings" that have had a massive impact on me this year and are very emotional to talk about.

Stay tuned....

Madiba

Today was Nelson Mandela's 93rd birthday. A few years ago a campaign was started on Mandela's birthday that encouraged South Africans to spend part of the day helping those less fortunate. Amazingly enough it has actually taken off. Today my cousins volunteered for charity, my Mom donated clothes to a children's home and our church celebrated the opening of the a newly built dormitory for disabled school children. I was hoping to donate blood today, I was a donor before I became ill in 2009, but unfortunately I am still waiting for clearance from my doctor to start donating again.

I am careful of not turning people into gods, but like everyone else I am amazed at Mandela. I was afraid of him when I was very young- my grandmother was responsible for that. They called him a terrorist. But when I actually questioned why he was so bad and what a terrorist was, no one could ever come up with what I thought was a good enough answer...I was just told he "made trouble". The truth is I learnt was true freedom was from Mandela and I only realised the value of it once his plight became known to me.

Most of you will know his story: He spent 27 years- the length of time I have been alive in tiny space no bigger than my bathroom. What is not widely reported now, even by Mr Mandela himself is the torture that he and his fellow activists suffered all because they wanted to be treated the same as white people. He was a husband and father- he missed the growing up of all his children. He sat in prison knowing that his family were being terrorized and isolated because of him and he could do nothing to help. I can't imagine the pain and unbearable agony he must of gone through.

The most important lesson I learnt was when he was realised from prison in 1990. He forgave. How he could forgive always used to strike me dumb- those people ruined his life. As an adult I now realise one of the reasons he was able to forgive. He knew what his reason for living was. His life had a purpose and a passion- something most people spend their whole lives looking for. He had a purpose and he was willing to die for it. They may have placed him behind bars but he already had freedom in his own heart.

We may be born into a country where democracy prevails. We may grow up having everything we ever wanted. We can travel the world but if we do not have freedom with in our hearts and souls, we might as well be locked in a prison. I believe some of the greatest battles in history have not taken place between enemies, but within a heart and a mind. It's like thinking you are in darkness when the sun has already risen. It's seeing the world in grey when it is actually bursting with colour. It is love, it is happiness and it is where life starts. It is understanding that You. Are. Actually. Free and not just thinking it.

I am including a poem called "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley  being read by Morgan Freeman, who played Nelson Mandela in the movie Invictus. While in prison Mandela was inspired by this poem and kept it close to his heart. It is reported that he would recite this to the other prisoners. This poem says best what I am trying to say. It means "unconquered" or "undefeated". Thank- you Madiba for this lesson.  http://youtu.be/9oIKqeZWjis

"Invictus"

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishment the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

The copper theif!The copper theif!

For the third time in THREE MONTHS the telephone cables in our area have been stolen. No cables means no phone. No phone for us means no internet. This has become such a huge problem in South Africa. People steal the copper cables right off the damn poles and then sell it to God knows who. It takes the phone company weeks to repair it and has put such a financial strain on them that they have started laying people off.

I have been using my Blackberry as a computer. This has come at the worst time because I am job- hunting. I am able to approve comments on my blog but for some reason I can't comment myself. I have downloaded 0pera mini onto my phone so hopefully that will make using the internet on my phone a bit simpiliar.

So job interview!. I don't think I have ever gone to so much effort for an interview. But when I got there on Friday I could have cut the tension in that office with a knife. At one point I could hear some girl talking loudly on the phone and to me it sounded as if she was crying. Really awkward.

What had happened is that the magazine was due to print on Monday and they had just gotten a new story. I guess if you have worked for a magazine you know this is a BIG deal. In the end the person that was meant to interview me couldn't and the lady that did interview me was extremely stressed and rushed through the interview. Not only that pissed me off big time when told me that they had already found two people but "didn't want to cancel all the interviews". I had driven 40 minutes and spent my sister's money on clothes just so they could interview me for fun?. I nearly blew up right there but managed to hold it together.

So I guess that was a bit of dud. They have still haven't said no and I gave them samples of my writing but realistically I know my writing is average. It sucks because I really wanted that job and I think I would have been good at it. Oh well, on to the next.

I do have some good news though. I got my exam results back...I passed all of them and they were all just a few marks short of distinction. It's not going to make me any money right now, but at least I am edging closer to finishing my degree.For the third time in THREE MONTHS the telephone cables in our area have been stolen. No cables means no phone. No phone for us means no internet. This has become such a huge problem in South Africa. People steal the copper cables right off the damn poles and then sell it to God knows who. It takes the phone company weeks to repair it and has put such a financial strain on them that they have started laying people off.

I have been using my Blackberry as a computer. This has come at the worst time because I am job- hunting. I am able to approve comments on my blog but for some reason I can't comment myself. I have downloaded 0pera mini onto my phone so hopefully that will make using the internet on my phone a bit simpiliar.

So job interview!. I don't think I have ever gone to so much effort for an interview. But when I got there on Friday I could have cut the tension in that office with a knife. At one point I could hear some girl talking loudly on the phone and to me it sounded as if she was crying. Really awkward.

What had happened is that the magazine was due to print on Monday and they had just gotten a new story. I guess if you have worked for a magazine you know this is a BIG deal. In the end the person that was meant to interview me couldn't and the lady that did interview me was extremely stressed and rushed through the interview. Not only that pissed me off big time when told me that they had already found two people but "didn't want to cancel all the interviews". I had driven 40 minutes and spent my sister's money on clothes just so they could interview me for fun?. I nearly blew up right there but managed to hold it together.

So I guess that was a bit of dud. They have still haven't said no and I gave them samples of my writing but realistically I know my writing is average. It sucks because I really wanted that job and I think I would have been good at it. Oh well, on to the next.

I do have some good news though. I got my exam results back...I passed all of them and they were all just a few marks short of distinction. It's not going to make me any money right now, but at least I am edging closer to finishing my degree.

My Little B

To love someone is to risk loosing a part of yourself

This has been a big week for me...I have finally re-registered at University to complete my degree. I don't care if I have to complete the damn thing in bed, I'll do it.

This week there has also been a major victory and a close to a beautiful chapter. Some of you, who are regular readers of my blog have heard me briefly discuss a little girl only referring to her as "Little B". I have been very vague about this and I am sorry but please know I only did this to protect her privacy. However after much thought and discussion I decided I should share this with you, only because this story is incredible and you will be amazed at the resilience of this child.

Little B is actually my second cousin. Her mother and I were very close growing up. The circumstances of Little B's life and that of her sisters are extremely tragic but I won't be discussing it on this blog. Before the holidays, I made the decision to foster her. I did this because in 2011, Little B was due to start school and we had a BIG problem. Kindergarten/ Nursery school is not compulsory in South Africa ( a little dumb if you ask me), so she was unable to get a government grant like she could for school and there was just no money for her to attend Nursery School otherwise. Now in the area where she lives the standard of education is extremely high- B would have to pass a school readiness test to see whether she was ready to go to school and this is where we had the problem.

Little B is extremely bright but tragically because she had not attended Nursery School or had anyone take time to prepare her for school she was streets behind other kids her age. I am always wary of getting involved with any drama in my family because if you give a hand they will take an arm, if you know what I mean. Watching B's situation was like watching a car crash in slow motion and it became apparent that nothing was going to be done. My Mom and I arrived at their flat one day explained to her what we needed to do and then packed her up and moved her into our house. It was heartbreaking watching this tiny little girl say goodbye to her Mom and each of her sisters. She sat in the back of the car all the way home, in silence tears pouring down her cheeks. Even though she had never been away from her Mom and sisters I could see in the determined look on her face this was something she knew she had to do.

You will be amazed what this child accomplished. Little B had just a few weeks to cover something that took kids two years to cover in kindergarten. The day would start at 7am , we would break for tea at 10:30am go on from 11 until 1pm and then again from 2pm to 4pm. I discovered that B had picked several things up just by observing her older sister but it was jumbled and needed to be put into order. When she wasn't at having lessons with me she was playing games that had something to do with lessons. We decided it would be best for B to go home on weekends to her mother and sisters and give me a chance to sleep.

I will admit I was hard on her but I was frantic and heart sore. I realised with great sadness, that Little B's life now and in the future would be far from easy, she couldn't afford to be model- coddled. I remember holding her when she was just ten days old and thinking how many battles she would have to fight and most of them she will have to fight alone.

But I was not kidding when I said that she was resilient. She took on every challenge I threw at her with a fiery passion. When the time came for Little B to leave she could read and write at first grade level (something that's not mandatory for starting school, but we achieved that anyway) she knew her multiples up to 2, could add and subtract ok, count up to 100, recognise all her shapes...

Once we were over that hill we were facing yet another. It was January, the school year in South Africa starts in January and it seemed as though all the schools were full. I was angry...while I putting this kid through 8 hour days someone could have filled out a stupid form for her to attend a school!. Each school shutting their door in her face was beginning to take it's toll on Little B. She told me that the schools didn't want her, pained rejection written all over her face.

But the law was on our side. schools are divided into catchment areas. Whatever school she lived closest to by law, had to take her. Eventually this school agreed to take her, they had no choice ( but we told Little B that they liked her and really wanted her) but first....the nail- biting school- readiness test. Yes, however unethical it seems if she didn't pass this test she would not be allowed to go to school, even if she was of age.
I had to go see my psychiatrist that day so I couldn't be there. We heard nothing all day and we couldn't get hold of her mother so we went by her work. As soon as we parked I saw Little B and her mother racing across the parking lot. I opened the car door, feeling very shaky and B jumped into my lap.

"I PASSED, I CAN GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!"

She had passed her test with flying colours. She told me when they said she had passed and could start school, she cried, "Happy tears". I went into town early the next morning to see her off on her very first day of school. Never in my entire life have I seen a kid so excited to go to school. She looked so smart in her new uniform. I took ton of pictures. Her Mom and I walked her to her classroom. She already knew two kids in her class. The whole time her Mom and I had goofy grins on our faces and my heart was swelling with pride. I went to kiss her goodbye and she took my hand and tried to pull me into her classroom but I stopped her. "This is where on you're on your own my love, I can't come in with you". I feared that maybe this is where the waterworks could start but she just shrugged "I've two friends". Then another little girl came and put her arm around her and they walked in the classroom together - I had to hold B's Mom back!- the teacher then shut the door. Her Mom and I stood outside the school crying- how traumatic it is sending a kid to school!!.

I have learnt a lot about love these past few years. It is mostly love that has kept me alive. The biggest lesson I learnt about love from my experience with Little B, is that a lot of it involves selflessness and letting go. Sure I knew that that was all a part of love before, but having B in my life really drove it home that to love someone you risk loosing a part of yourself. I got Little B I had to open up windows in my heart that I had closed long ago to care for her. For a few weeks I was the center of her world and she was my main priority. I taught her, fed her, bathed her, cared for her when she was sick, played with her, watched her sleep, hugged and kissed her tears away. I was tired, amused, in love, frustrated angry, heartbroken, joyful all at once. She was mine for a short while and now she is back where she belongs and treading her God- given life path while I watch cheering for her wanting nothing but for her to be safe and succeed. Of course that is not always guaranteed but I have faith.

I have inspiration: if this child moved mountains the way she did then so can I! On I go to the road less travelled:)

10 (really funny) questions asked about South Africa

First post of 2011!!. It's been a very lazy new year for us. I am just enjoying the calm before the storm.

Everyone in my family with exception of my sister is well travelled. My mother spent 18 months in her 20's travelling around Europe and she has travelled exstensively through Africa and America. My Dad has been everywhere from Japan to Cuba. I have lived in three countries and travelled to a few more. You will not believe the questions we have been asked about South Africa. And while they are genuine questions asked by people just trying to satisfy their curiosity, it most has us in fits of laughter. We were talking about this today and I thought it would be a good idea for a post. So here are 10 questions that either someone in my family or I were asked about South Africa while abroad:

Are there white people in South Africa? (The most asked question when I was overseas...mostly by *ahem* Americans)
Yes.....actually there are about 4.5 million of us....having been colonised by Dutch, German and French settlers back in the 17th century.

I would have thought Charlize Theron and Dave Matthews would have put this rest.

How is the traffic with all the lions and elephants running around/ do you have a pet lion?
The best way to see lions and elephants and other wild animals is to drive 8 hours (from where I live) to the Kruger National Park, sit for another 5 hours in your car until you see something that kinda sorta looks like a lion or hyena through your binoculars. Whatever you do....STAY IN YOUR FREAKING VECHILE, some people have actually died by walking up to a lion in order "pat" it. Oh and it is illegal to own one as a pet.

Do you have to hunt for your food?
I have my very own spear! I call him Danger. Whenever I'm hungry I make sure he's nice and sharp....then I hold him in a horizontal position and then I go running through the bush like a bat out of hell and then...........NO.

So I guess Tescos/ Walmart must be very new to you? (asked by an American while I was living in London)
There is talk that  the folks at Walmart have taken pity on us and decided to grace our shores with their presence......not that we need them since we already have Pick n' Pay (very much like Tescos), Checkers, Shoprite, Spar, 7 Eleven, Woolworths.....the list goes on.

Can you speak "African"
Sure, which one of the HUNDREDS of languages spoken in 54 countries ( covering 30.2 million km² ) would you like me to speak?

South Africa has 11 official languages and of that I only speak English and Afrikaans (most people here can speak at least 2 or 3 languages).

Do you guys get electricity?
No, we watch T.V in the dark :)

OMG! You're from Africa! Did you come here ( to the U.S ) to get treated for AIDS?.
This was the worst question that I got and by the time I finished with this guy, he walked away about 3 feet shorter. Normally I am very patient will all the curiosity about my country, no matter how dumb it seems, but there is certain ignorance that I have no tolerance for. Firstly you NEVER ask someone, even if they are from an African country, if they have AIDS- it is the same as asking a stranger if they they have genital herpes. And don't just assume that everyone from Africa has AIDS!. Those people who have chosen to speak out about their AIDS status have done so on their own terms. But there are millions of other people who see it as an extremely private and sensitive matter.

I saw Blood Diamond!.....I'm so sorry!.
For what? Firstly, the sole plot of Blood Diamond is actually set in Sierra Leone during the civil war. The story of the film is pure fiction however, the brutality portrayed in the film is accurate but does not depict the daily occurrences in South Africa. Special attention should be paid to the child soilders in the film- a tragedy that still continues to this day. Several African countries actually have resources that could ( in my opinion) make them very wealthy but because of war, greed and power the are plunged into poverty. Blood diamonds are diamonds mined within a war zone and sold to fund a war lord's activities (usually illegal). The meeting that took place at the end of the film was real- the Kimberley Process Certifcation Scheme is designed to ensure that rough diamonds come from sources which are free of conflict. Take a look at that sparkly ring on your finger....where does it come from?

By the way Leonardo Di Caprio and Matt Damon are the only actors who've managed to conquer the true South African accent.

Is South Africa a country?
Yes! Yes! YESSSSSS!!!!. We are a democratic republic and.....we even have a president!!!! ( Jacob Zuma). One guy actually got annoyed with me trying to convince me that I was from AFRICA just the Southern part of it.

An e-mail sent to me through this blog asked me a number of questions just like the ones above. One of them was: Do you have internet in South Africa?

If you have any questions you want to ask me about South Africa, I can't promise that I won't find them funny but I will answer them honestly. Consequently there are South Africans ( mostly poor) who have asked me if there are really flying cars in America. One guy saw  iRobot and thought that was the way everyone lived in America!. So you see the only way ignorance can be conquered is by learning:)

Baie dankie almal, lekker week :)